What do you identify yourself as? Most of of us claim several identities. Some of these are also known as "labels." Human, Man, Christian, Runner, Cyclist, Reader, and Latin Language Enthusiast/Fan are some of mine. There are more. How long can one go without doing the activities associated with a certain identity/label. For our purposes, I'll drop the label "label" and just say "identity" for the remainder of this post.
My setback last Tuesday was that a strange feeling (I should have acknowledged it as "pain") in my left foot developed into an undeniable pain, telling me with unequivocal clarity that something was wrong. My gait was altered, and the altering of gait furthermore produced pain in the lateral aspect of my left knee. No good. This was something that I could not ignore. Injuries require rest. Unfortunately, the rest would necessarily involve an abstinence from running.
Abstaining from running is very hard for someone who has come to strongly self-identify with the term, "runner." How long can one still legitimately be called a runner and not run? If the Olympic marathon champion lost his legs, would he still be a "runner?" To that last question I would have to say he wouldn't. However, to someone who is taking a day off, a week off, or even a year off - albeit with plans of resuming the activity (although only God knows what Providence will bring) in the future. They are still a runner. The legless Olympic marathon champ is not a runner - though still holds a high honor. However, the more severe the injury and the more uncertain the outcome of the setback, the more the runner feels the identity slipping away. I am sure that depressions and suicides have happened as the result of this phenomenon. The identity we cling to is important to us.
What do we do about the identity crisis? Whether one self-identify as baker, juggler, pianist, or runner, I am convinced that though we may have a primary identity we cling to - but that our other identities are essential as well. It is essential that we maintain our other identities in our psyche and practice them in real life so we can actually believe ourselves concerning those things we tell ourselves and affirm. It's like diversifying your investments. Don't put all your money into one investment. Don't put all your self-worth and focus into one area/identity as well! For me, I can momentarily become "cyclist" or even a non-athletic identity. This keeps me sane and keeps me happy. Do I have to lay off running for a while? Big deal. I can ride. Can't ride? I can row. Can't row? I can embrace the pianist identity again. Can't do anything at all? There is always something to seek excellence in. And, above all, faith in the good Providence of God assures me that my life still DOES have meaning in HIS purpose. When all investments of time, effort, sport, and money have failed, the identity I have in Christ remains. Really, in the final analysis, this is where I (and we) should find our ultimate meaning and purpose.
Day by day, minute by minute, I will retain a positive attitude. I will use my mind and body to the best of my ability - and, God-willing, I will be back running again. God-willing, I will have a more sure-footing on the path to my planned 50-mile ultramarathon in December.
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